just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
