I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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