It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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