The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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