i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
