help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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