Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
