There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
