At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
