oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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