What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
