I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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