I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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