There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
