So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
