i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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