I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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