I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
