LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
