Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
