seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You made out with two different species that night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
