Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
