We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
