just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize