we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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