You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
