so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
