hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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