He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my poor anus
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
