We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
