Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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