I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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