There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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