You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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