playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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