I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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