I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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