hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
