i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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