He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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