I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
