It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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