He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
