she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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