he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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