I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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