cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
