I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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