I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't turn off my feet"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize