Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
