i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How external is "for external use only"?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize