My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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