Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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