the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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