I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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