Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
