she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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