summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
