i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
