what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
